Much Ado About Nothing
by Captain A
Summary: Some of your favorite cartoon and video game characters enact a William Shakespeare comedy. SoraxKairi SonicxSally Rated T for safety purposes. Polite, decent reviews and constructive criticism is accepted.
1. Introduction

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

A Fanfic

By

Captain A

Based On The Play By

William Shakespeare

**Starring The Voice Talents Of (In Alphabetical Order):**

Lou Albano

Wayne Allwine

Richard Ian Cox

Jason Anthony Griffith

Jess Harnell

David Kaye

Evelyn Lanto

Tress MacNeille

Vic Mignogna

Haley Joel Osment

Hayden Panettiere

Rob Paulsen

Michelle Ruff

Christopher R. Sabat

Sean Schemmel

Michael Sinterniklaas

Kath Soucie

Frank Welker

Danny Wells

Billy West

AND

Alex Neeley

**Author's Note****/Disclaimer: **This is something I've decided to work until I can get enough experience and motivation to write my big fanfic that I promised TLSoulDude I would write. This ought to be an easier fanfic for me to write, because the characters, plot, and dialogue have already been written out for me by someone else—all I have to do here is just adapt it. For disclaimer purposes, I must say here that I own none of the "actors" who are performing this story here—they all belong to their respective owners. And in case anyone is wondering here, while I don't own the play "Much Ado About Nothing" or its characters, I'm not going to get sued here for doing this, because the works of William Shakespeare are all in the public domain. Finally, I hope that at least some of you out there enjoy this.

**Cast List:**

Claudio-Sora

Hero-Kairi

Benedick-Sonic the Hedeghog

Beatrice-Princess Sally Acorn

Don Pedro-InuYasha

Leonato-Mario

Antonio-Luigi

Don John-Sesshomaru

Conrad-Kurogane

Borachio-Fay D. Flourite

Margaret-Chi

Ursula-Mitsuki

Balthasar-Garfield

Friar Francis-Bugs Bunny

The Sexton-Mickey Mouse

Dogberry-Mikey Simon

Verges-Gonard

The Watch-Yakko, Wakko, and Dot

The Messenger-Alex (my original character)

_Before I end my introduction here, there are a few people that I would like to address here._

_First of all, I would like to give my sincerest apologies to TLSoulDude and his brother DimensionDude for not uploading the first chapter of the fanfic they gave me permission to do on the past couple of weekends like I said I would. Really, guys, I AM very very sorry. But my attention span isn't as good as that of some other people due to the fact that I suffer from ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, and possibly Tourette's Syndrome as well-it makes it very hard for me to put any idea that isn't related to a college assignment down_ _on paper, and ever harder for me to consistently keep working on that idea. Keeping all of these disorders in mind, I have decided that I am not quite ready yet to do a big, epic fanfic like the one I designed for you. I'm going to work on shorter, easier fanfics like this first and build up my experience before I start on bigger stories. This doesn't mean that I'm giving up on the "Prince of Heart" tie-in fanfic, though—I'll try to have at least the first chapter finished and posted up before the end of 2008, and I'll also try to post more chapters at a more regular basis after I'm done with fics like "Much Ado About Nothing". So in the meantime, all I'm asking is your patience—and your forgiveness. (I really AM sorry!)_

_At the other end of the spectrum, I have very different words to say to Laredo Tornado. A few months ago, I posted a review of his fanfic "The Seven Keybearers" asking him to update it and presenting my opinion about the increasingly adult content of his other fic "Quest For The Lost Two". In response, he sent me an angry, obscene e-mail. Well, Laredo Tornado, I have just one thing to say to you: Frankly, I've become rather disappointed in you. Your original story, "The Keyblade War", was alright for the most part, but this latest KH fic of yours has gotten much too adult and much too dark. Not only are you including characters and franchises that will most likely never make it into an actual KH game (Scrubs, Dogma, Lost and No Country For Old Men), but you're having the traditional Square Enix and Disney saying and doing things that they would normally never do under any circumstances. Furthermore, you're having incidents and mishaps happening to these characters that are not supposed to happen to them and are thus very out of character when they do. I know as a fanfic writer, one can change things if one wants to, but COME ON! You've leveled the Hundred Acre Wood and bumped off the BEAGLE BOYS! How un-Disney is THAT?! Walt Disney would be turning over in his grave if he knew what you were writing in "Quest for the Lost Two". Also, Laredo, I don't like the tone you took with me in your e-mail. I'll admit that I was unintentionally rude in asking you to update the Seven Keybearers (which is the only thing I AM apologizing for here), but that doesn't give you the right to harangue me like that, nor does it give you the right to call me a dirty name (which on principle I'm not going to repeat here). And even if my tone was unintentionally rude, my words to you were polite. I'm pretty sure that I said "please" to you, and I distinctly remember saying that it was nothing personal and that it was "just my opinion" about your fics. I was hoping that you would have taken these words into account, but it's pretty clear that you haven't. Finally, you said in your e-mail that you didn't want anybody talking bad about that jerkwad Janitor from "Scrubs." Well, last time I checked, this was still a free country guaranteeing freedom of speech. So if I want to say that I don't like somebody (especially someone as nasty as Janitor), I can, and since the Janitor isn't even a real person (but a fictional character on a TV show), I don't think he's going to sue me for libel or anything like that, and therefore you shouldn't be telling me where to get off about this. In fact, I've decided to include in the fanfic I'm writing for TLSoulDude a heavy amount of Janitor BASHING (and by bashing I mean PHYSICAL BASHING)! In short, Laredo Tornado, I'm through for the time being with being a fan of you or your fanfics. If you say you're sorry for what you said to me, and start making your stories much more decent and closer to an actual Kingdom Hearts game, I'll start giving your fics a look again. But until then I'm not even going to look at them, and if you don't like any of this, well then tough luck. And if you send me anymore angry, obscene e-mails, I'm not even going to dignify them with a response. I'm not even going to READ them, but delete them and move on._

_To the others reading this, sorry that took so long. I really needed to get that off my chest. I would also like to apologize to any of you who are still Laredo Tornado fans, but as a Christian I can not approve of the increasingly adult direction he is taking his Kingdom Hearts fanfics, and as an grown-up I cannot stand by and let him speak to me in such a nasty and immoral fashion. I hope that you all understand at least this._

_Here are a few more people I want to give shout-outs to:_

_Darius Almighty-Forgive me if this sounds rude, but are you ever going to resume work on your fic "Trials of the Keyblade"? It's a much better fic than Laredo's (at least YOU aren't including the Janitor in your story), but you haven't updated since back in June, and left your story at a major cliffhanger moment where Sora is about finally learn the truth about his father. I'm therefore asking (with all politeness and restraint) that you please start work on "Trials of the Keyblade" again. Pretty Please?!_

_Hikaranko-Are you going to get back to work on novelization of the first Kingdom Hearts game—the one that you said you finish "no matter what"? You last updated back in June of 2007, and you haven't resumed it since. Since some of my past messages to you actually succeeded in getting you back to writing and updating that fic, maybe this shout-out to you will do the same. (I'm hoping that it will.) No offense, though._

_KingdomKey23-Sorry to find out that you're retiring from the fanfic business. If you ever decide to resume your fanfics, let us know. And if you ever change your mind about letting someone else take up writing up them, look me up—I'm available as a writer!_

_Babylon Sky Hawk-I'm sorry if THIS sounds rude, but if it's not too much trouble, could you maybe e-mail that free spoiler you promised me? I'd appreciate it if you could. Thanks._

_Well, this is the introduction, folks. I'll try to have the prologue and first chapter up within the next two or three days if possible. Until then, G'NIGHT EVERYBODY! _


	2. Prologue: Hey Nonny Nonny, Hey A Movie

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Prologue:

Hey Nonny Nonny/Hey A Movie

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything in this fanfic but my original character, Alex.

**Author's Note: **Okay, three things here. First of all, I'm a real big fan of musicals, so I'm making this fanfic be a musical in addition to be being an adaptation of a Shakespeare play. Second, while I welcome your criticism and reactions to my fics, I would appreciate if your criticism is constructive in nature and if your comments remain as polite and respectful as possible. And any foul words or suggestive comments are not allowed in your reviews of my fics. Keep these rules in mind, then, while writing and posting up your reviews of this and any of my other stories. Finally, this fic is rated T due to one sex scene (which for the sake I've altered so that it is only heard and not seen) and due to the unpleasant and almost violent events in the middle part of the play. Now that you know all this, sit back, relax, and enjoy my interpretation of a Shakespearean comedy.

(The story opens inside a small community theater. A casual matinee crowd, made out of ordinary-looking human beings, takes their seats just as the house lights begin to dim. The audience immediately quiets down as the orchestra rises up out of the orchestra pit. The orchestra here is none other than "O'Malley and the Alleycats" from the movie "The Aristocats". O'Malley is himself on the clarinet, while the rest of the band are playing the same instruments that they played in the movie. A spotlight illuminates one of the theater entrances, and through the entrance walks the conductor, who is none other than everyone's favorite beagle SNOOPY in a tuxedo. Snoopy makes his way through the theatre aisles to his conductor's podium, and once there he turns and bows to the audience, who applaud and cheer wildly. They then quiet down again as Snoopy turns towards the Alleycats, who immediately steel themselves to begin. Snoopy taps on his podium a few times with his baton and then begins to conduct. The Alleycats play a soft, lyrical, romantic-sounding tune. Another spotlight illuminates the stage as ALEX [A/N: my original fan character] walks in front of the curtain. He dressed in a safari hat, safari shirt, and khaki shorts. Alex turns to the audience and begins to recite a poem to the music.)

Song:

"Hey Nonny Nonny" (The words are straight from the original play, while the tune is from the Kenneth Branagh film version of "Much Ado About Nothing)

Alex(Spoken): Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,  
Men were deceivers ever,  
One foot in sea and one on shore,  
To one thing constant never:  
Then sigh not so, but let them go,  
And be you blithe and bonny,  
Converting all your sounds of woe  
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,  
Of dumps so dull and heavy;  
The fraud of men was ever so,  
Since summer first was leafy:

Then sigh not so, but let them go,  
And be you blithe and bonny,  
Converting all your sounds of woe  
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

(The music picks up in intensity here as Alex reprises the song, but now he is singing it instead of speaking it.)

Alex(Sung): Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,  
Men were deceivers ever,  
One foot in sea and one on shore,  
To one thing constant never:  
Then sigh not so, but let them go,  
And be you blithe and bonny,  
Converting all your sounds of woe  
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,  
Of dumps so dull and heavy;  
The fraud of men was ever so,  
Since summer first was leafy:

Then sigh not so, but let them go,  
And be you blithe and bonny,  
Converting all your sounds of woe  
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

(The Alleycats suddenly begin to play a whole new piece of music—one that sounds more like a showstopper from an old Hollywood movie musical. Alex drops the serious expression he has been using up to this point, and spreads his arms out on either side of him as he shouts in joy.)

Song:

"Hey A Movie" (From "The Great Muppet Caper",

Alex: WHOA!

(He sings)

There'll be spectacle  
There'll be fantasy  
There'll be daring do  
And stuff like you would never see

(SONIC THE HEGDEHOG enters from Alex's left)

Sonic: Hey A Movie!

Alex(Turning to acknowledge him): Yeah! We're gonna be in a movie!

Starring everybody...

(SORA enters from Alex's right.)

Sora: And me!

(The MARIO BROTHES—MARIO and LUIGI—enter.)

Mario: There'll be heroes bold!

Luigi: There'll be comedy!

(KAIRI enters behind Sora.)

Kairi: And a lot of fuss  
That ends for us real happily

(MITSUKI and CHI enter.)

Mitsuki & Chi: Hey A Movie!

Alex: We can watch it all develop!

All: Starring Everybody!

(PRINCESS SALLY enters behind Sonic.)

Sally: And me!

(BUGS BUNNY and INUYASHA enter from opposite ends of the stage.)

Bugs: We'll take a world

InuYasha: And set it on its ear

Alex: Come on, join in

All: We're gonna start right here

(A musical interlude as Alex addresses the audience.)

Alex: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ToonTown Theatre's production of that William Shakespeare classic, "Much Ado Nothing"! _In _this production, we your local actors will present to you a romantic comedy depicting the romances of two very different couples, the evil fiends who try to force them apart, and the unlikely heroes who save the day! And rest assured, it's gonna be a great time for all!

(MIKEY SIMON and GONARD enter.)

Mikey: There'll be crooks and cops!

Gonard: There'll be villainy!

(The WARNERS—YAKKO, WAKKO, and DOT—pop up out of a trapdoor on stage, surprising the others for a moment.)

Warners: But with us on call  
We'll fix it all real easily

Others: Hey A Movie!

(MICKEY MOUSE enters.)

Mickey: Wow! It's gonna be terrific!

Others: Starring Everybody!

(The curtains part behind the company, dramatically revealing SESSHOMARU, who stands in the midst of a fading cloud of black smoke. He holds his sword, the Tenseiga, over one shoulder. )

Sesshomaru: And _me!_

(Spoken, as another musical interlude begins to play.)

Alright, you've had your fun. (He points the Tenseiga at the others.) Now _I'm _taking over.

InuYasha: Not on my watch you don't! (He draws his sword, the Tetsusaiga, and points it at Sesshomaru.)

Sora: And _I'll _help you! (He joins Inuyasha, draws out his keyblade, the Kingdom Key, and goes into a fighting stance.)

Sonic: Right on! (He joins Inuyasha as well, and goes into his own fighting stance.)

Sesshomaru(Calling off into the wings): Get out here, you fools, and help me!

Kurogane(Offstage): Hold your horses! We'll be there in a minute!

(KUROGANE and FAY D. FLOURITE enter and take their places behind Sesshomaru. After a brief pause, the two groups rush at each other and begin a chaotic fight, with InuYasha naturally fighting Sesshomaru, Sora fighting Kurogane, and Sonic fighting Fay. After about a minute or so, Sora knocks Kurogane's sword, Ginryu, from the ninja's hands and then points his keyblade at Kurogane, forcing the latter to surrender. Sonic knocks Fay to the ground with a Homing Attack, after the magician immediately surrenders. The battle next comes to an end with InuYasha forcing his brother to his knees and pointing the Tetsusaiga at hims. InuYasha makes a little half-smirk.)

InuYasha: Well, brother, do you give up?

Sesshomaru: I do. You win.

InuYasha: Good. Then you're forgiven.

Alex: ALL RIGHT THEN!

(Sesshormaru and Fai get up on their feet as the rest of the guys—excluding Kurogane—begin to sing again.)

Men: There'll be mystery  
And catastrophe

Fai: But it's all in fun

Alex: You paid the money -- wait and see!

Women: Hey A Movie!

Kurogane: Is there any way to stop it!?

Alex(Spoken): No!

(Sung) Starring everybody

Others: Everybody

All: Everybody

And—

(Brief musical passage as the cast forms a circle onstage, and then GARFIELD THE CAT appears in the midst of the circle.)

Garfield: ME!

(The audience applauds as the number comes to an end. After the applause dies down, everyone exits except for Alex, who remains onstage.)

_Okay, this takes care of the prologue. I'll try my hardest to have the first part of the play proper posted within the next seven days. Until then, G'NIGHT EVERYBODY!_


End file.
